I'd like to blame it all on it being Friday the 13th but in the past these were always such good days for me. I often looked forward to Friday the 13th but, today sucked.
It started off with my 4 yr old waking up way too early and deciding instead of getting pulled into bed with me or being told to go back to his own bed, he'd sneak into his little brother's room and wake him up. Which is followed by me asking him to come here 5 times. By the 5th time, I'm no longer asking, I'm screaming and throwing the covers off of me and about to kill anyone who comes near me. And the entire time my darling husband is basically ignoring all of it while he gets ready for work.
I guess I should have known that the day would most likely only get worse from there. Shortly after all of that, everyone is dressed, downstairs, fed, and playing when the 2 year old trips and plants his cheek directly onto the coffee table leaving him with a huge bruise going straight across the entire side of his face. It looks awful and of course I have all of that lovely "mommy guilt". I'm tearing up yet again.
And best of all, I have had an annoying cough for 3 months, maybe more. I've stopped counting because it doesn't seem to matter anymore. I've tried everything under the sun to get rid of this cough. The doctor has tried a lot of things as well. Yesterday afternoon I went to have a chest x-ray and I must admit was really hoping that something, anything would show up so I could finally have some relief but NOPE, it was clear. My doctor's response..."let's wait another 2 weeks to see what happens." WTF!
Talk about having a serious break down. There comes a point where it all feels like too much and I'm at that point. Either let me be healthy so I can go on with my life and not have this hanging over me or let me be sick! This stupid cough that doesn't really stop me from doing anything, isn't around most of the day, only seems to really show up in the afternoon and into the evening. It just looms there, taunting me. I feel like people think I'm making it all up. Do you have any idea how embrassing it is to have to wear a pad every evening to make sure that you don't wet yourself? Or go into coughing fits that make you vomit? But nothing helps. Nothing makes it better. I'm so over it! I just want to have an answer.
Now, it's off to take my children to stay the night with Grandma (thank God for Grandma). I want to go home and crawl into bed and cry but, instead I'll go home and put on a smile and tell my husband I'm fine because I'm pretty sure he's heard me complain about how I feel one too many times. *Sigh*
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